Like a ship tossed by the wind...


3/3/07 If I weren’t on a train I would probably burst into tears at this moment. Ten minutes ago I was scurrying to get on the train because I’d forgotten my wallet in the car. Twenty minutes ago I was walking around The Union Station- smiling at the bride and her groom under the red umbrella. Thirty minutes ago I was merging onto I-405 from I-5… I had been thinking about my roommate driving the same road a week before- and smiled at the thought that there were cigarettes in the glove box- was I daring enough? And before that I drove by City Bible Church, which caused my thoughts to drift to Dane, and how I wished he were close enough so I could give him a hug. And I got lost in thinking about whom else I’d like to give a hug… Those were all happy thoughts but they brought tears to my eyes.

3/4/07 Back on the train- heading home. Sometimes it is really good to “get out” so you can look back and gain a little perspective. Sometimes the perspective isn’t what you thought it would be though.
In church this morning the pastor talked about being the “good” we don’t see in the world. He reminded us that evil isn’t ruling, people are (remember Genesis when God put man in charge…) and good ultimately triumphs. And good doesn’t sell in the news so we have to remember things aren’t as bad as they’re made out to sound. We must choose good over evil- feed that lion so that the other grows weak. I don’t have the strength to fight; I need someone to do it for me.

Later Now I'm home. It feels pretty good. Surrounded by friends, fairy lights, movies, tea, and more homework than any of us know what to do with. It was fun to see my mom and Charlotte and Candis. Perspective... it's funny how life isn't always as it seems. And it is challenging, the swaying from one extreme to another... But I figure I'm not alone- and I'm pretty sure the majority makes it through each stage... I guess I'm not that worried... Just wish it all made a little more sense, and was maybe a little more steady- you know, not so up and downy :)