you've been on my mind




I relate to the weather quite well today. The sun was out but then the clouds rolled in and hid its warmth and encouraging smile. The clouds came and made it cold and dark and irritable outside. But the breeze comes and pushes those clouds on their way and sometimes that brings the rain and sometimes the warm sun on my face. And sometimes I am angry at the cycle until I remember that without it the trees wouldn’t bud and bloom. The grass wouldn’t turn green and the tulips wouldn’t blossom and invite us to pick them and put them on our table.

And it is just the same for my life. Sometimes I am an emotional freak show and other times I am enjoyable to be with. Sometimes I am rainy and sometimes I am sunny- and I never really know if these periods will be minutes or hours or days. But instead of letting it frustrate me, I have decided to let it grow me. I will try to remember that without a mixture of rain and sun I would either be muddy or dry.

So please be patient with me – because I am like a rose: once we get past the pain of the thorns we can enjoy the smell and beauty of the flower. And we may have to continue to sit in the silence for a while. But I'll be ok with that, if you'll be ok with that. If you will be patient with my lack of words, I will work on sharing what is running through my head.

I have come to realize what is it that I want. What I’ll fight for. What I will keep dreaming about. What is really important to me. I just don’t have the energy quite yet to get up and fight, or the words to tell you how I really feel. One day at a time. Rain or Shine. We’ll make it to the end of this chapter and start a new one.