I've always understood that Alaska is far away. But today it feels a whole lot farther than the 2500 miles. The snow is working on it's 3rd inch of the day - adding to yesterday's 3. It is so beautiful - but it's wonder cannot do anything to shake the ache of sadness from my soul today.

i miss you.
so much.
so very much.

I read your blogs but I don't know what to say.
I pick up the phone to call and something interrupts me.
And even now, with a half hour before I need to be anywhere - I just sit in the empty house with my tears. I need you. I need your friendship, your honesty, your agnst-y-ness, your beauty, your perspective, your hugs, your voice, your warmth. But I need this thing I'm calling home too.

I'm unsure of how to seize the day.
I can't remember how to make the most of what God has given us.
I've found myself living day-to-day with little more passion that what I can muster and pour out at church.
I feel defeated today. And sad. And the one thing I want right now, is to cuddle on our couch in Winters like we used too. Because in those moments - even though everything was wrong in the world - we could hurt together.