I'm going to blame the increased amount of hormones... on just about everything.

There's a lot to do around the house, and I want to do it, I just seem to lack the energy and motivation to actually get out of bed and do it.

So far each time someone has asked about Ryan it's made me cry.

It was really hard for me to fall asleep last night, despite sheer exhaustion, because it's hard to get used to an empty bed now that I'm used to sharing it.

Some books call it nesting, I just call it necessity for sanity.

My goal is to tackle one room a day and reorganize the items. Ryan and I both have a lot of stuff and it seems like most of it just collects dust. I didn't realize it would be so difficult to decide what to keep and want to give away when half of the stuff isn't mine. But maybe that is my burden to bear while Ryan stays up late playing Madden Football, drinks beer, eats at BW3s, and enjoys warm weather... and I work slowly in our quiet little house.

I worked on the kitchen yesterday - the once beloved and favorite room in the house for me has become one I avoid at all costs. Food is a chore because nothing sounds good and nothing tastes right. Feeding the cats and opening the fridge or throwing something away triggers the sensitive gag reflex which always leads to a dash to the bathroom. So yesterday I tried to be proactive and wash dishes, and scrub the sink, and clean out the fridge - but JT says that something still smells funny in the fridge. And even though I emptied the trash there is still something foul odorizing that room. So - in the next few days when I'm brave again everything is getting unshelved and scrubbed down and reorganized.

Today I needed something a little less fragrant, so I'm tackling the master bedroom and bath. I wish we owned this condo, because the closet wall could sure use a nice coat of blue paint - not because I'm feeling blue- but because our room colors are brown and blue and I think I could paint safely enough but I can't move the bed in order to re-arrange =/. The cats are finally both taking naps - they've been race car drivers the last few hours - knocking over stacks of clothing and rearranging piles of knick-knacks. I kind of want to stay right on the bed too, for fear that when I start on the bathroom the races will begin again.

Day 2 is halfway through, and I'm still not sure how I'll survive 150+ more of them.