I don't usually mind being the "sub," in fact, I think I've probably grown accustomed to it.

There are pros and cons to being the "real deal" and the "sub" I guess.

We've been watching a lot of shows on HGTV and the itch to own a home where we can remodel and decorate and make it our own is growing harder and harder to ignore. But I know that one day we'll move to a state and get to stay for a while and we can put down some roots - so for now I'm thankful we are "sub" home owners and that we have a space that fits our needs, that our appliances work and we have heat and hot water! And I'm also thankful for things like "wall decals" that I can press on and peel off, or cool ideas like painting picture frames and hanging them empty or with fun fabrics in them. There are a lot of wonderful projects that can add personality to our condo without changing it permanently.

This leads me to think about being a "sub" teacher. I enjoy not taking bags of books (for lesson planning) or papers (for grading) home. I don't have late hours for extra curriculars and conferences. And being in numerous classrooms gives me great ideas that hopefully I will be able to remember when I get my own classroom again. God has been providing me with a very full schedule this semester which eases my bank account stress and builds relationships with teachers and students (since 90% of my work has been at one middle school).

Today I've subbed for a sub, reviewed my lessons for today and skimmed the work for the week. I've already reviewed "prepositional phrases" and "infinitives" and "phonemics" - ah, the wonderful world of the English Language... I do see the importance of knowing how to write and speak correctly - hmmm, maybe the reason I don't "think" about these concepts is because I don't necessarily remember going over them in middle school and high school (if my memory is correct we had 8 different teachers in 3 years - or something ridiculous like that - I didn't learn how to properly use "to" and "too" until my senior year of college - sick! I know!)

All that is to say that being the "sub" actually has been really good for me. I'm learning tidbits again and polishing dusty files and most importantly I'm learning to appreciate concepts that I cared nothing for the first and second times around. Oh how I wish we could get kiddos to care about school - part of me thinks it's just part of the process of growing up and developing, and the other part of me feels like that's just an excuse. *sigh* more thoughts on that another day.

Before I leave this "sub" category - I just have to say that I really like this middle school. I know enough teachers and students now that I'm allowed to use the Promethean (like the Smart Board) and the Document Cameras (it's like Heaven to have one in EVERY classroom!) People say hi to me in the hall and students actually respond when I ask them to quit running or to walk on the right side of the hallway. I even get to drink the coffee from the lounge (where the signs all say "Coffee for Paying Members Only" - I guess they feel I've put in my time - maybe I'll bring in a bag of Kaladis for good measure though!)

I haven't been a "sub" parent for a while - I attribute that to stepping away from Youth Group involvement though. I did have Brittany's little siblings over for a slumber party during Christmas Break though - great kiddos, easy for sure, but I'm glad I'm about to have my own =) I'm not sure if it's because we're about to have a baby in 2 1/2 months, or if I've always been this aware - but I notice kids and pregnant ladies ALL the time... Sometimes those "spottings" leave me horrified at the prospect of raising children in this day and age, and other times I'm encouraged that wonderful children are possible =)

Sunday in church Pastor Josh was speaking out of Hebrews and chapter 5 caught my eye. Starting in verse 12 the passage speaks about spiritual immaturity and I guess I was convicted and left to wonder if I'm still in need of milk or if I've graduated to solid food. (I like the analogy because it's baby related of course). When I was sitting in church I was feeling pretty immature - I know we aren't supposed to compare our walks with the Lord to others - but I have been a Believer for a long time and I know there are people who have been Believers for less time and know more than me. But I realize that we're each on our own journey, and we each have our own "jobs" which probably means that I'm growing in ways that I need to, while they are growing in ways they need to.

Maybe I'm "immature" in the amount of Scripture I know by heart - but I know how to search for Scripture and even though it's important for me to Hide the Word in my Heart I probably don't need memorization the way a pastor does. When I think over the last few months I can see how the Lord has brought me leaps and bounds in many areas of my life - even though I'm no where near being done with the journey.

I think the point is to be an active participant in the Adventure.

"Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. To keep our faces toward change and behave like free spirits in the presence of fate is strength undefeatable." -Helen Keller