There are only 19 days of classes left.
This means that in a few short weeks- let me emphasize FEW- I will be forced to leave this place.
I'm ok when I don't think about it.
Shit- I'm thinking about it.
I'm not ok.
I wouldn't care how much rent was, or if they turned off our heat, or power, or water... Just as long as I could live in this apartment for the rest of my life.
We started spring cleaning yesterday. We rearranged our living room today. This apartment is home. It always will be. I wish there were a way to put it in my pocket and carry it around with me forever. Or put this campus in a snow globe... now there's a thought!
I woke up last night and Bethany was gone. Scared is the only way I can describe how I felt.
I wish I knew how to explain how I feel right now. I'm genuinely happy- things right now are great; amazing friends, lots of laughter, meaningful conversations, life-changing moments... and then I remember that we'll all go our separate ways in a few weeks.
If today was our last day together- what would we do?
Seize the Day.
Don't second guess yourself- take the leap.
I'm ready- maybe only because I've realized that I'll never actually be ready- so bring it on.
I say "YES!" to life.
Because in the end, I'd rather be broken and battered and tear stained from the adventure.
I would rather
clutch my invitation
and wait my turn in party clothes
prim and proper
safe and clean.
But a pulsing hand keeps driving me
over peaks, ravines,
and spidered brambles...
So I will pant up to the pearled knocker
and full of tales.
-Janet Chester Bly