Sunday, June 17, 2007

I don't know if I could explain what is on my heart and have you understand. It's heavy though, and it's making me tired. And it wouldn't be so bad - except that a majority of the people I'm with either have it or are soon getting it or are just generally talking about it . . . Brilliant - no joke, there was just a commercial about it on the radio.

This thing - it's something I really, really, desire. In fact, I would postpone my current dreams to have this one. I wouldn't be throwing away schooling by any means, just setting it aside for a little longer. And this desire is something I'm designed for.

Nellie just got married and she is due in August - and she is absolutely adorable. Maybe it's a little creepy . . . but every time she rubs her stomach or talks to the baby it breaks my heart a little.
Emily's wedding is just over a month away. Melissa's is in December. Meaghan's is in a year. And it's probably suicide but I'm in/helping with all three. I've borrowed too many books to count from the library - and gosh, if there is anything you'd like to know about a wedding just ask me.
There have been three sermons since I've been home about parenting and family . . . and it is hard to miss all the families in our church! There are a bajillion little kids running around - swinging in their daddies arms and tugging on their mommies' hands.

Anyway - life is good, just really busy. I'm working 7 days a week - which actually has been going fine. I'm really tired today though, and I'd really like a mug of hot chocolate and a nap on the couch in Winters. And I would like some logical explanation for the tears that are welling in my eyes. Why do I feel like this when I have absolutely nothing to complain about? I don't know how to learn the lesson of contentment . . . even after years of trying . . . that's all . . .

I was designed for the home - but I'm afraid I'll never get one of my own - instead I'll just have the blessing of teaching others about it.

5 comments:

lovelyfaith said...

i'm sure your day & time will come! patience! :)

ryanmortinson said...

whatever lady. some dude is gonna walk into your fitness place and never leave. give it time.

Father Dane said...

Miss you Mandi...

me said...

loving you from far far far away. don't worry...you'll be married before i am. :-)
but i'm hearing more of your heart than you're sharing and know that i love you.
infinity.

kitten said...

i got out a shout out in this post!!!!

i miss you manda... a lot! can't wait to catch up some day, it will be marvelous!

loves from india.