Wednesday, May 02, 2007

I really thought things would be ok, honestly, I really did. And then I hit the wall. I cried a few tears on Bailey while he was cuddling under my chin and a few escaped at the table with Bethany while she tried to convince me to stay. But I just kept telling myself that I would be ok. I mean- nothing about Oregon will ever be the same. What I love about it is the people and the campus and the people are gone and I’ve graduated. So why stay when I have free room and board and a great job waiting for me at home?

I have become a firm believer in saying more than should be said instead of leaving something hanging. The only problem is that I never said what I thought I should. Probably because I convinced myself it was the worst possible time, or because the one time I did say it during the worst possible time, you left without saying goodbye.

I’m walking away. Maybe because I have to, maybe because I need to, maybe because it is the only thing I have ever done and I don’t know how to change my ways. Regardless, it is time for me to say goodbye and it has completely broken my heart. But I can’t really show that- so I hold my chin up and I laugh a little and tell you I’ll see you in July- because maybe that’s what you need to hear, what I need to hear. But deep down inside, I have a feeling that this is really the end.

So, thanks for everything. I’ll look back on these years with fond memories. Good luck. God bless. You mean more than you know, and I wish it didn’t end like this.

See you in July.