Tuesday, March 18, 2008

I've been waiting a long time for this - but of course doubt deems it a necessary time to show its blasted-face!
I'm just not strong enough to keep the clouds from raining on my parade!
I am that person, who falls in love with my job, when it's time to move away.
I am that person, who finally understands and enjoys the company of my mom, when I'm ready to make my own place.
I am that person, who finds camaraderie and accountability in your transparency, when it's time to say goodbye.
I am that person, who frequently lays awake at night lost in thoughts of you, when I know long distance doesn't work.
I am that person, who frantically wants to stay here like you say, while setting up house in another state.

If you'll humor me . . . I feel like a caterpillar who is growing and being transformed slowly within my cocoon . . . but something is now ripping off the silky blanket I have tightly wrapped around me . . . forcing me to extend my unfinished wings and fly . . . I'm excited, but I'm not ready.

I doubt my strength, only to be reminded it's in Him that I'm strong.
I doubt the motives of my heart, only to be reminded that I'm on a journey of sanctification.
I doubt my readiness for all that is ahead, only to be reminded that I am never alone.
And quietly, the sun begins to peak through the clouds, the puddles begin to dry.
Faith grows.
Hope returns.
Love fills my heart, as I remember Who it is that calls me by name.

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