Thursday, January 24, 2008

I had the most beautiful view from my classroom today, well, "office" would be more correct since I was a PE teacher again. There was one lone Fir tree on the playground in the fresh snow. It was rather windy so all the children were bundled against the swirling snow. Then the mountains, I love the mountains! And the school was close enough to the range to see some of the gorgeous houses.
Two little boys started throwing punches and a couple little girls in their pink snow gear came to the rescue. The bell rang and my little kindergartners were all smiles as they waited at the door. We played "mouse-tail tag", and more freeze tag than I care to remember. We chased each other under the parachute and together learned about hand-eye coordination by playing what I've dubbed "human ping-pong."
I'm not so naive as to think that every class will love me, or every class will obey, because I've had my share who haven't. But that's okay because in every class there has been at least one student who smiles and says "thank you!", or asks if I will come back tomorrow.
And in those moments my desperate prayers turn from "Abba, do you want me to stay or go?" to, "Abba, do you want me to teach or sub?"
When I look out my window again the boy in yellow is beating-up the boy in red and the one that is half their size is trying to break up the fight. And my heart aches. I've looked into their eyes and I have seen their emptiness and anger. I've spent days with the young tots who just want to be loved and given a little attention. And I have seen what that looks like when nothing has been done and they grow up. I have heard them talk about what they did last night, I see them sit at their desk and refuse to do their work because they just don't care.
And I want to help. I want to change their worlds.
And I want them to know that even though I don't remember their name, that there is a great, paralyzing, love that fills my heart for them when I look in to their eyes.
How do I tell them that I care?
That I believe in them?
How do I make them want to listen?
And more importantly, how do I help them know that the God of the universe knows their name, loves them more than they'll ever understand, believes in them, and gave the greatest gift anyone could ever give.

" . . . all anyone needs-is one person who believes in him and loves him unconditionally." Penny Widmore, Lost.
oh how our lives change when we grasp the understanding that God is this human for us.

You are believed in.
You are loved unconditionally.
Now go, and do the same.

1 comment:

alicat said...

i love your beautiful heart.