It's been a long time since I've just sat...
You know, just sat with nothing to do. just sat and watched the sun dance. just sat and held a coffee cup. just sat and let the stillness and music of the past wash over me. It is rather overwhelming. But rather inspiring too.
I'm beginning to approach the point of no return and to be honest it makes me content and terrified in the same breath. How is it that one person can invoke such opposite feelings in a single moment? And how is it that I arrive at these feelings from multiple directions?
Take contentment first - I'm content because I am happy and well cared for but I can see myself just making it work because I want to be done looking. Then as for terrified - I have the sense that this is it and it's amazing and beautiful and scares me, but then I wonder if maybe I'm going to be missing out on something later on.
Do I just continue to sail on this river or do I battle the current? Do I let this course run or do I blaze my own trail? Is my unsureness a red flag or just my silliness? And how does one honestly share how they are feeling - or rather how do I share when I desperately want to protect the other? Oh the complexities of life and love =)