Sunday, September 23, 2007


I used to hold on very tightly. But somewhere along this journey I began to realize that things were still taken, people still left, no matter how tightly I held on. So I decided to stop holding on so strongly. Not in hopes that those things would stay, but to keep my sanity.

I realize.

I understand.

That all things - both the good and the bad - must end. That's just the way of the world.
I thought that in not holding on so desperately the process might not be so painful - as it was inevitable.
But it has become a habit, a wall, a crutch.
I won't even hang on to God - because in my deepest of hearts I am afraid that He too will leave, come to an end.
But He's not like that is He?
"As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you." Joshua 1:5

'As I was with Moses', what does that mean? Wasn't Moses the one who spent 40 days and 40 nights on a mountain with God? And upon his return to the people of Israel, he scared them, because His face was radiant?
"When Moses came down from Mount Sinai with the two tablets of the Testimony in his hands, he was not aware that his face was radiant because he had spoken with the Lord." Exodus 34:29

I've spoken with the Lord, but has my face ever been radiant?

"'I know you by name and you have found favor with Me.' If You are pleased with me, teach me Your ways so I may know You and continue to find favor with You . . . Now show me Your glory." Exodus 33:12c-13, 18.

If I know the Lord, really know Him, then I know His love. And in His perfect love there is no fear. No room for doubt that He'll leave me, forsake me, abandon me, move. If I know Him, and His love, my face will be radiant, I will know His way.

I'm still learning. He is a good Teacher.
Thank goodness this journey isn't about me.
It's all about Him.

1 comment:

alicat said...

i'm still learning too.

psalm 37:23-24

i love you, my manda