Monday, February 09, 2009

I just need a moment to breathe... to compose myself... to stop freaking out... because, honestly, that's what I do best. I see all the culminating events hitting the fan and I just want to crawl into a hole and hide, bid the rain to go away, bid the sun to come out and make the flowers bloom, bid March to come - so that maybe there's a chance for us to meet at home, bid for dreamless nights so that I don't wake so confused, bid May 2nd to be here so I can take another diploma and hop on a plane and run away from all the decision I need to make, and bid clarity for how I'm going to move all my stuff in the next couple weeks! 

I lift up my eyes to the hills- 
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, 
the Maker of Heaven and earth. 
-Ps. 121: 1-2

Oh, how I wish that said "My helps comes from the Lord, the Author and Provider of your Data Set 2 analysis, analytical memo, and Data set 3 triangulation chart." or "My help comes from the Lord, who can marvelously pay all your bills and move your stuff from one house to one apartment."
I'm still amazed at how everything creeps up at once. Blows out of proportion in my mind. Literally overwhelms me to the point of desperation. 

*sigh* my heart rate has slowed down. 
my stress-related snack is cold. 
inspiration is yet to arrive. 
"good things come to those who wait" right?!

1 comment:

Whitney said...

Amanda Shaniqua Shanaenae Charlene Elizabeth Marie Lynn Leigh Gonzalez Wycowski Tompkins!

*deep breath*

5 seconds ago, ok maybe more like 5 hours, you were telling me it's going to be ok and everything is going to work out. Way to play it cool, missy. I knew it was all a facade.

Read my lips, errr, I mean words. You. will. be. oh. kay.

I know you know that I aint frontin when I say that I know things are chaotic and that they will be the same for the next few weeks. But this was bound to happen. I would love to stay here in our cozy little house with you downstairs, something delicious in the oven and enchanting music floating all about. I would love to stop this moment in time and keep it for just a little while longer. But all good things must come to an end. Or at least move over and make room for bigger and better things. We will get through this and be better for it.

We'll learn how to be more efficient packers... ok, maybe that's stretching it. We'll... maybe get rid of some stuff. Like a headache that we've shared for the past several months. ;) We'll begin a new phase of our lives. We'll still keep each other listening to good tunes. We'll still laugh. We'll experience something different. We'll grow up a little more. We'll remember the good times and the bad ones will become distant and less dramatic (thankfully).

You've been like a little bird chanting in my ear " Everything will work out" over the past few months and now I'm here to chant it right back. Everything will work out. Fret not, my favorite roommie.

Oh and, in case you forgot, I love you mucho. And the only thing that I'm really, really gonna miss about this house is you.