Thursday, April 10, 2008

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, and the evidence of things not seen. Hebrews 11:1
Substance huh. So there must be a difference between knowing and believing something in my head and subsequently acting upon that knowledge or belief. I believe that if Jesus summoned me to walk to Him on the water that I could, but that doesn’t matter until I actually take that step on to the water. I believe that the Power Jesus had to perform miracles lives in us as the Holy Spirit. I believe Him when He says we will do the same, even greater, miracles than He did. But that doesn’t matter until I choose to move.

Rhetorical Questions. I rarely have an answer for a rhetorical question; I just tend to zone out. I wonder if it has become a habit for life. In communication classes I remember being taught that to really listen to someone you pay attention – instead of formulating your answer while “listening.” I wonder if this too is a rut I have fallen into. I stop thinking while in the midst of a conversation and process it after we walk away. Sorry I never have anything to say.

It seems that this last year I’ve come to realize where it is I’m supposed to be, but it hasn’t been time to be there yet. Although I have really enjoyed my time here in Anchorage, at home, I have longed for Oregon. I have built new relationships here, learned a lot, come closer and stepped away from God. A weird but beautiful rhythm. While at the Alaska Club – I knew I should substitute but I had to wait for God’s timing. Now I’m getting ready to go back to school and all I can think about is the standing offer to have a job at my alma mater. I don’t know what the future holds. But God does. It’s hard for me to let Him lead our journey though. It’s hard to not jump ahead of Him in this game called life. I don’t have enough patience to let Him call the shots. Practice makes perfect. And the wait will make the reward all the sweeter.

But whenever anyone turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away. Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into His likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit. II Corinthians 3:16-18
I forget that He’s the one who changes us. It isn’t our strength, our determination, our hard work. We “simply” let Him. And by simply, I mean, we choose every day to die to ourselves and to acknowledge that we are starving, parched, needing the Bread of Life, the Living Water, to sustain, quench, revive us.

Sometimes I wish it weren’t so hard. Then I remember my track coach; No Pain? No Gain!

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